…but I’m feeling 32.
And a slew of vacillating emotions on top of that.
But back to 32. Because today is legitimately my birthday and that is my newly minted age.
Oddly enough, 32 is my lucky number. It has been ever since I first donned it on the back of my travel soccer jersey as an 11-year-old budding athlete. Seeing as 2 (the date of my birth and my hitherto luckiest number) and all iterations of it from 2 to 12 and 22 were already claimed on my team… 32 it was, and 32 it remains.
What makes that even more special was, well, when have you ever seen a soccer player with a jersey number over 30? You usually don’t. And even from a young age, I was never afraid to be just a bit (or even a lot) different to get a semblance of what I wanted.
But allow me to set the record straight: at the beginning of the year when I said that I planned to pivot from my ambition-forward and goal-getting life in order to slow down and learn what truly brings me joy, I never thought that my more low-key lifestyle would take this form. This isn’t the type of different I favor. Nor do I find acceptable.
These days, I am often reminded of that saying, “life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans”. And this piece of life we find ourselves in across the globe (though mostly, at this point, in the United States) may be the best example of that sentiment I have ever experienced. Because all those plans we had for this year and beyond no longer exist. Or at least, they do not in the way we originally thought they would.
After all, who plans for a pandemic?
I mean, who outside of the highest global officials who are supposed to have the foresight from the science community that an event like this may be on the horizon and be properly budgeting to properly allocate supplies and support to the people they govern?
But I digress…
Life as we know it ended, ironically enough, on my husband’s birthday: Friday, March 13. And now here we are, nearly 6 months later… and while much of the overwhelming panic that comes with the unknown of a highly-contagious lethal virus has shifted into the steady beat marching toward an unknown endpoint, it feels like so little has actually changed.
While we all are older, are we any bit the wiser?
I think that, after living through the events of the past 6 months, many of us are. And in so many ways outside of what you would expect from a half year passing.
It is my most sincere birthday wish that all of us, no matter where we are on our journey, can find it in ourselves to forgive our past views and ignorances in favor of moving forward armed with new truths that manifest not just in convictions and platitudes but in actions and efforts, too.
Further, I wish that that we can be vulnerable in showing our remorse, and forgive each others’ trespasses as we work -together- toward something different. Something better. Something fit for all of us. Because that is nothing less than what we all deserve.