R & R

This year during the long Labor Day weekend, R&R did not stand for rest and relaxation.

It all started just over a year ago when I began writing on Substack. I don’t post on a strict schedule (yet. or maybe ever.) and I am only lately getting the hang of putting my writerly experiences into (somewhat? probably?) interesting words, but so far I’ve found it a wonderful tool. And not just for stretching my writing muscles, but for connecting with other creatives as well.

One such connection I made early on the platform was with a group of authors I had long been aware of as a librarian, having often recommended their titles to readers, regularly placing their books on read-alike and summer reading lists. In short: I admire them and value their work. Having their writing advice, experience, tips and tricks come right to my inbox was like a little gift, though they don’t post on a strict schedule either.

It seems that I am in good company, after all.

Our phenomenal cast of mentors and industry guests, from left to right:
Rob Costello, Jennifer Richard Jacobson, Eric Smith, Lesa Cline-Ransome, Jo Knowles, Alysa Wishingrad, James E. Ransome

But one day in March, as the dregs of winter started their slow unfurling into spring, just as the universe was telling me LOUD and CLEAR at every turn what project I should focus on, an invitation to apply to the inaugural R(ev)ise and Shine hybrid residency and retreat at the Highlights Foundation‘s creative campus landed in my inbox. Tucked away in the Pocono Mountains, just outside of Scranton, Pennsylvania, is The Barn at Boyds Mill where for decades, mainly writers and illustrators of books for young people (but all walks of creative minds, to be sure!) have come to get away, take time, find inspiration and hone their craft.

So over the holiday weekend, along with celebrating my Labor Day birthday, I became one of those writers in residence.

outside my private cabin, pondering what the weekend will hold

After pitching the idea I’ve long had for a Young Adult novel (my first recollection of it being from 2018), then drafting up as much of an outline and manuscript as I could muster by August, I was assigned a mentor and brainstorming partner from that very same brood of aforementioned authors, boarded a plane to meet and befriend my fellow mentees, talk shop with the pros in attendance, and generally take in the splendor that is late-summer Northeastern Pennsylvania.

There were private cabins, wooded walks near trickling ravines, illustrator studios abstract collage instructions, food (the food!), word gardens, nature around every turn, stars by the pocketful and words… will never do it all justice.

I left this whirlwind weekend not only with friends and writing confidants I am certain will be extraordinary characters in my writer’s journey, but with a firm grip on the compass guiding my story forward and answers to so many craft details I didn’t even have the mind to ask before meeting with these creative masterminds. And with the current news cycle being what it’s been upon my return home, I have a foreboding sense that my WIP will be relevant no matter how long it takes me to finish it.

And maybe I didn’t get to rest and relax, but I manage exactly what the R(ev)ise and Shine community is all about: REVISE and REGROUP. And with new sights on my story’s North star, I have a feeling I may reach The End before too long…

But until then, stay the course, my friends- and stay inspired!

All-Consuming

I am completely stunned and incredibly thrilled to announce that a piece of my micro fiction, “All-Consuming“, appears in the ninth installment of Chill Subs‘ experimental Thread Lit Mag, curated via Threads and published exclusively on Instagram.

Though this piece is small (clocking in at a whopping 177 words to fit October’s theme of micro-fiction) it carries immense emotion as the main character mirrors my feelings about breastfeeding. Note: it is NOT entirely positive. And reminder, this is FICTION! I just wrote what I know, like us writers are wont do.

Please enjoy and feel free to like and share both on and off social media!

Trying

I am absolutely honored and delighted to announce that my poem, “Trying” appears in Honeyguide Literary Magazine‘s 7th Issue!

Although I am extremely lucky to have had an easy go at becoming pregnant, I was haunted during the waiting between what could be and what was. I cannot imagine having to try for much longer than I did, and so I dedicate this piece to anyone who is in the trying, or anyone who had longer to endure, regardless of the results or the means to them.

I want you to know that you are not alone,
that you are strong and worthy- just as you are,
and that hope’s forever in the sky.

Photo by Serafima Lazarenko

Plot Twist

The past two years have brought so many new normals, shifted and cancelled plans, bittersweet disappointments and pleasant surprises alike. We’ve spent so much time writing and rewriting our own narratives, deciding if and how we should change our course as we navigate into the future, and whether our ultimate destination remains the same.

For so long, recording the struggles and triumphs of the everyday has felt just beyond my grasp. Every time I sit down to write, the very craft I’ve changed my entire existence to accommodate, words weighed too immense and flitted insignificantly before me, unable to do justice to the times we face; feeling meaningless before I even put them to paper and especially while reading them back. For a writer, this is a gasp for air thousands of leagues underwater: an act of sabotage disguised as solace.

I still struggle with my words, but lately they’re coming easier and providing more clarity now that I’m working with a new deadline…

They say a photo is worth a thousand words, but this one is worth my whole world. And I can’t wait to start sharing it.

Next Chapter

I’ve been feeling extremely thankful these days, in ways that have little to do with the recent holiday.

For the past two weeks, I’ve had a lot of time for reflection. Because exactly two weeks ago, I officially stepped back from being a working librarian and stepped down from the position I’ve held for the past 4 years at the most wonderful library I’ve had the privilege to work for.

I’m thankful that I have a partner who -when I offhandedly said one day in the deepest part of the pandemic that I had some dreams I was having trouble chasing with a full time job and felt unsettled being unable to chase them- said without hesitation, “I think we can make it work.”

I’m thankful that my managers were willing to discuss and navigate options with me for months to see if there was a way I could stay with them part time under the stipulations I wanted. I’m equally thankful to have worked in such a lovely community and among such incredible coworkers that made deciding to leave an excruciating choice. I am thankful that those same coworkers sat with me outdoors in the freezing cold during the season’s first snow to send me off with the best pandemic goodbye possible.

I’m thankful for all that I’ve learned, about both librarianship and life, from the people I’ve worked with, the communities I’ve served, the boards, committees, and panels I’ve sat on, teachers I’ve collaborated with, parents, students, and young readers I’ve assisted, and every library interaction -both meaningful and passing- I’ve had over the past decade.

I’m thankful for the times working at a public library was an easy joy, and I’m even thankful for the times it was anything but. I am thankful for the memories and how they will help me now to be an outspoken advocate and forever friend of the library from the other side of the desk.

I’m thankful for the friends and family in my life who, upon sharing this news, have been so fully supportive of and excited for me, how they continue to believe in me… sometimes even more than I believe in myself. I truly couldn’t be more thankful for that.

I am mostly thankful to even have this opportunity: to have the room to dream, the freedom to make choices that frighten me, the privilege to be able to look fondly on the story of my life thus far, and the courage and support to turn the page and begin the next chapter.

Yes. I am thankful. And hopeful. And ready.